Alexa

Read from the bottom up:

I’ve always hated antique stores. I hate the way they smell, dusty and decaying, like my great aunt’s attic with its molding cardboard boxes. The sounds that fill them irk my ears; the squawking of old ladies clawing over rusted spoons and kettles. There’s even a taste to them. I leave with a thick, fuzzy-feeling coat of grime and age on my tongue. I hate antique stores. I really do. Yet somehow, I now own one.

Granny passed three months ago, the sweltering heat of August taking her from us. She ran a good establishment, or so I’ve been told. I didn't spend too much time at it, and didn’t particularly care for her store. It was filled with antiques after all, and no sense of family ties could tie me to it. Her will, in which I had expected to read that Gilly would be inheriting the shop, stated in slanting cursive that the shop was mine. Thanks Granny.

I planned on selling the place and merchandise, could have gotten a few grand out of it, but the rest of the family would have disowned me without a doubt. Granny’s place was sacred amongst the rest of them – a place filled with memories and corresponding memorabilia.



Six Word Memoirs

(Editors, do not read this, it's here for me, not you. Back off.)

Dearest Alexa,

(Puppy Love)

I connect with this story more than you will ever know! As you know, I already read it before you turned it in for class, and I suggested that you make it more obvious that it's really about a clingy boyfriend, not an annoying puppy. I love what you did with that - I love the sarcasm at the beginning, the words like "supposed" and "please" and especially this line: "The problem with playing fetch is you always come back." I actually probably would have made that the last time, just because it has a sort of ring to it, but I understand why you ended the piece the way you did - the "A Puppy. So cute, right?" was repeated throughout the story and you had to have some sense of closure with it. The voice was super genuine (I wonder why) and really believable. I adore this piece.

(Summer Surrender)

What I liked about this poem was that it really evoked the imagery of the scene you were describing. Although I think it might be a bit too fractured, I like it because of the always-falling sensation it gives off. For some reason, I really like the word "Plummet" by itself! That just really stood out to me. I also enjoyed "dingy depths" and "Caressing bare flesh." You had all kinds of sensory imagery in there, and that's what I think made the poem succeed. I also like how you punctured the falling sensation of the poem with a "scream" and an "explosion," reminding us that it's not just a calm dive and that it's a thrill for the speaker. Oh, and I LOVED the use of the word "Intruder" - but I would have loved to know why the speaker doesn't belong in the water. Maybe explain more from the body of water's point of view in order to develop that? Overall, though, it was really engaging and I wish I could go cliffdiving now.

Most sincerely,

Yasmine

 Dearest Alexa,

 you already know i adore "puppy love". they way you personify this mysterious person i've never ever heard of is amazing. i know some people told you that it was hard to tell that it was a guy you were talking about but i got the vibe right from the beginning. i really like the build up of the lines in between, starting out with "a puppy" and ending with "a puppy. so cute right? yes at first". i think that those added lines capture the tired/I'M SO DONE WITH THIS CLINGY BULLSHIT emotion that you were trying to convey.. when i first read it i thought you could've included like a memory or a flashback of how he used to be or how you used to find his puppy tendencies cute but then i changed my mind; i think by focusing on one setting and one brief event, you managed to capture everything you needed to. just write like this forever please and thank you <3

 ~ Akhila

 Oh hey there again,

i had issues choosing which piece to critique but i HAD to go back to your car adventure. i really like the details of how everyone was feeling before, during and after the incident. you take time to mingle your nervousness with the excitement of the other two and i think that makes your decision to go ahead with the plan seem more justified (cause its one thing to not want to do it yourself but it's a whole other story if you try and explain that to friends!) i think at some parts it got kind of theoretical (that's the wrong word but i can't think of the right one) like when you start questioning why your life isn't flashing before your eyes and in the beginning when you start out by saying taking risks are part of being a teenager. but i think the actual description of the crash/fall/whatever you want to call it was on point. the increasing speeds, the dubstep that seemed to cloud your judgement, everything was described beautifully. WOOOO

~ keelz (akhila)