Zoe



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2 Poetry Styles:









Dear Zoe,

(Pallet Town)

HI. First of all, I am obsessed with this poem ok. Like literally it is my favorite thing ever well maybe not literally but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN the following will be a bit biased. Anyway. You have a great ear for rhyme and rhythm - almost all of your rhymes are perfect in my opinion, except maybe plans/hand (normally I wouldn't be pointing this out but because the form of the poem itself has such an emphasis on rhyme I feel like I should). The iambic pentameter itself is perfect although some lines sound weird when you read it with the da-DUM emphasis, such as "Through forests, through oceans, through towns widespread" and " From the nurse to the music to the battles he fought." I like that you told his story from third person, because it allowed us to really see him as a hero rather than just a central character. The poem really did seem like some sort of epic story, and that's what I loved about it!

(Confrontation)

Ugh when you read the original version of this in class, I just fell in love with it. I especially like the 'TH-thump's and how they make up the beat of the poem, particularly at the end. The pace of the poem, how it gets faster and faster and then slows down at the end, sets the TONE for the poem, and you conveyed that tone of urgency (idk if this is the right word) and suspense very well. I think the word 'phaser' was awkward in the context of the poem for some reason, but that might just be me. I also adore the sense of ambiguity at the end in not knowing who died. Good job with this!

Sincerely,

Yasmine

Dear Zo ë, So this will probably come as no surprise, but ZOMBIE ICE CREAM. Gotta love the little cheerful girlish tone while she's off dismembering hapless innocents. I think you could use some type-y stuff and more expressive punctuation to better convey that tone. Not Exactly Perfect has a good set up, and within six pages the three main characters (well, two main and one side really) are firmly established and have their own voice. However, it could use more direction and intention and be a bit more concrete in where you want it to go. Welp, being a gutsy gumshoe I've a heck of a lot of sleuthing to return to, games to play, shenanigans and the like. Goodnight! Sincerely, Jane Cr- oh wait Stella

**Dear Zoe,**

I'm a bit of a freak so when I read the one about the Hero of Pallet Town... I was conducting it in a really fast 6/8. And the rhythm was impeccable! #musiciansrule #gous. I have to say though, I could use a little more bold hints about the fact that it's about Pokemon and not cancer... Awkward I'm sorry, it's been so long so the whole pallet thing didn't register with me till later. I also read "Homicidal" and I personally just think it's a wonderful piece. The spacings, the word choice, everything was just so fitting and so realistic. I could actually feel what you were saying.. Which kind of worries me. The spacing around "Every Whispering Suggestion" Makes it seem so much more suspenseful. A word in particular that stuck out to me about this piece was "erupts". Because. It. Erupts. Like. A. Volcano. And I just think it's really fitting to describe the anxious feelings the subject is going through. It almost made me feel kind of excited about the murder. OH DEAR. I SHOULD STOP TALKING. But seriously, I want to go step on a bunch of ants now.

Sincerely, Vani